Do you ever hold back from speaking because of an experience that made you doubt your voice?
Perhaps someone told you that you were too loud or quiet or that your voice didn’t matter. These moments can create voice scars—hidden wounds that lead us to second-guess our voices while communicating.
As a voice coach, I know that many of the women I work with have voice scars from years ago that continue to impact them today. A critical comment from a parent, teacher, boss, or cultural conditioning has left them feeling “wrong” when they speak up at work or in social settings.
So what can you do? You can heal your voice scar and regain the confidence to speak up and be heard by examining and reframing your beliefs.
Follow these five steps to begin your healing journey to reclaim your full voice and speak freely:
1. EXPLORE: What Do You Think About Your Voice?
Take a moment to reflect: What do you believe about your voice? Do you think it’s too soft, too deep, too shaky? Where did these thoughts come from?
Your voice is part of you, and exploring your beliefs is the first step in reclaiming it. Ask yourself:
What do I like about my voice?
What negative thoughts do I have about my voice, and where did they come from?
How do I feel when I hear my voice?
2. IDENTIFY: When Did You Get a Voice Scar?
Remember when you felt silenced, dismissed, or criticized for your voice. Voice scars can come from family, school, relationships, or cultural messages.
Ask yourself:
Was I ever told to be quiet, that I talk too much, or that my voice sounds "wrong"?
Did I feel like my voice wasn’t valued in certain spaces?
How did those experiences shape how I speak today?
3. RECLAIM: Is Your Voice Scar True?
A voice scar is often based on someone else’s opinion—not reality. Now, let’s reframe that old belief into something empowering.
Voice Scar: "I talk too much." → Reframe: "I am passionate and have great ideas to share!"
Voice Scar: "I am too quiet." → Reframe: "I am a thoughtful observer and enjoy deep
conversations."
Voice Scar: "My voice sounds weird." → Reframe: "My voice reflects my culture and lived experience, and I confidently own it!"
Write down your old belief and rewrite it into something affirming.
4. HEAL: Write a Letter to Your Younger Self
One of the most powerful ways to heal is through writing. Write a letter to your younger self
about what happened, how it made you feel, and what is true about your voice.
Then, reconnect with your voice through sound:
Write down one thing you like about your voice.
Think about sounds you love in nature, music, or everyday life—let them inspire you to appreciate your own voice.
5. LOVE YOUR VOICE: Embrace and Strengthen It
Your voice is your instrument, and it deserves to be loved! Practice using your voice in ways that feel fun and freeing:
Read bedtime stories aloud.
Recite poetry or affirmations.
Hum to feel calm and connected to your voice.
Mimic accents for fun and vocal flexibility.
You can train with me, inside the Love Your Voice Community for Women.
💜 Ready to reclaim your voice?
Get the Love Your Voice Workbook and join the Love Your Voice Community for Women at www.loveyourvoice.me.
Get access to my live workshop, “How to Heal Your Voice Scar Workshop.”
Your voice is one of a kind. It doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to be yours.
Stay Calm & Speak On,
Jessica Neighbor, International Voice Coach, Love Your Voice